As reformed churches, we love God’s Word and we love the ‘reformed’ faith as it gives expression to God’s word. Sometimes I wonder by what people say whether their desire to be ‘reformed’ actually aligns with God’s word. Recently, I was chatting to a Christian young couple who have been blessed with a lovely family. When I related to them that they have been blessed to have such lovely children, the husband chipped in, “Well, that may be so, but we never forget to remind ourselves and teach them that they are depraved and need to repent.”
Really? Is that the message our ‘reformed’ understanding of Scripture has led us to? Wow, how sad! When I heard this comment, I wondered whether the father of these children had ever considered Scripture’s teaching about the ‘covenant’ and the role of our children in the covenant. If he did, then it sadly didn’t show.
In the Old Testament, Israel’s covenant-keeping God reminds the parents to teach their children God’s command to love Him with their whole being in every way possible (Deut 6:5ff). The best and most positive way to teach their children was not to remind them of their depravity every day but to teach them about God and His love and provision for them.
In the New Testament, Jesus calls on his disciples to let the children come to him and not to hinder them for the kingdom belongs to such as them (Mat 19:14). In other words, it belongs to those who trust in Jesus Christ alone for their salvation, implying perhaps this is easier to accept for children than adults. We see a similar instruction in Ephesians 6:1-4, where Paul calls on parents to train their children in the ways of the Lord. Similarly, writing to the church at Corinth, Paul reminds the believing parent that their children are holy in the Lord (1 Cor 7:14b). None of these passages call on us to primarily teach our children that they are depraved little sinners, keeping in mind Romans 3:9ff.
On the contrary, Paul writes in Romans 5:6-8; “You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Note the word ‘still’ which occurs twice in these verses. It’s there for emphasis. There was nothing good in us that we should be shown such love, yet that is what God did. Surely, if God so loved us, we can and must show our children that same unconditional love. We don’t need to love their sinfulness, but we can and must love them first and the best way we can do that is to teach them about God’s love for us.
I guess the question comes down to whether we see and remind our children that they are depraved ‘little’ sinners who need to repent asap or do we remind them of God’s immeasurable love, especially in Jesus Christ on a daily basis? It seems to me that the first way has the potential to do great harm to a child, spiritually and psychologically, whereas the latter way is far more winsome. Furthermore, our covenant understanding allows us to see our children as part of God’s people. Yes, they still need to one day do their profession of faith, but let’s not regard them as depraved little sinners. Rather, let us teach them how special they are in God’s eyes and His great love for them in Jesus Christ. And while we do so, let us be in prayer that we may be able to convey that amazing love in a warm and special way to them so that they may embrace Him as their Saviour God. JZ.