The young man who was convicted on a long list of charges, that included home-invasion, assault and deprivation of liberty, already had a criminal record before he was eighteen.  What was perhaps even more telling in the news write-up was that he had been a rebel from childhood.

These kinds of stories are increasingly common in a society that that is hell-bent on distancing itself from its Judaeo-Christian roots.  In this instance the story caused me to reflect on the fifth commandment in the Decalogue.  Christians will be familiar with it as “the first commandment with a promise” (Eph.6:2).

The question arises though: what is the relationship between the commandment and the promise?

The fifth commandment reads: “Honour your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.”  Generally we are inclined to see the connection between the commandment and the promise as a religious connection.  Those who are respectful and obedient to their parents, God will bless with long life.  Of course we make allowances.  There’s the lovely young lady who always honoured her parents but who died of cystic-fibrosis before she turned twenty.  On the other hand there is the rebellious teenager who never repented of the way she treated her parents but who went on to live to a ripe old age.  At best, this is a pronouncement of a very general blessing – but a purely religious blessing – that God (generally) grants long life to those who keep the fifth commandment.

But there is another way of thinking about the connection between the commandment and “the promise”.  Is it not true that there is a very natural outworking of ones’ attitude to this commandment?  Respect for authority begins in the home.  Rebelliousness in the home leads to being a rebel in society.  Someone who does not respect the authority of Mum and Dad is likely to grow up not respecting the authority of the police and the law courts either.

And that’s just where the promise in the fifth commandment becomes a sociological issue as well as a religious one.  Dishonouring one’s parents is not only ungodly and irreligious, it is sociologically disastrous.  Our increasingly dysfunctional society flows out of our increasingly dysfunctional families.  The rebelliousness that is common in the homes of our nation transfers onto the streets and market places of our cities.

That’s precisely where the connection between the commandment and the promise may be viewed in a very natural cause-and-effect way.  The teenage lass who ‘thumbs her nose’ at what her parents ask of her will be likely to also ‘thumb her nose’ at the road rules, with the tragic outcome of her wrapping her car around a tree, with fatal consequences.  She did not live long on the earth because she dishonoured her parents.  The young man who rebelled against the authority of his parents is also likely to rebel against the authority of the State and indulge in drugs to the point where he dies from an overdose of meta-amphetamines.  He did not live long on the earth because he dishonoured his parents.

I think it was Paul Tripp who tells the story (in one of his parenting videos) of a time when he was about to do something that his parents had expressly forbidden.  A younger sibling was aghast at his intentions and cried out to him, “Don’t you want to live long on the earth”.  Okay, the intended misdeed was not likely to have immediate fatal consequences but that younger sibling understood that there is a connection between an obedient lifestyle and the length of our life on earth.  Yes!  There are many exceptions – and in both directions – yet we need to convey to our children the understanding that respect for authority not only pleases God; it is also best for our society and best for our own lifespan expectations.

John Westendorp