There’s an expression that was heard often in times past but that I don’t hear so much these days. One place where I often came across it was in the “Peanuts” cartoons by Charles Schultz. Something incredible would happen and Charlie Brown would remark, “Good grief!” ‘Good grief!’ could be an expression of dismay or surprise, even of alarm. But it’s a strange expression, isn’t it? We don’t normally think of grief as being good, so why did the expression ‘Good grief’ become a common saying?
I did some research. Since the Peanuts Cartoon is an American product I assumed the expression may be more common in the US than here in Oz. Not surprisingly therefore the American Heritage Dictionary of Idioms had an entry under ‘good grief’. It pointed out that ‘good grief’ is a euphemism for God. According to the author of this dictionary it seems that some sensible people didn’t want to take God’s name in vain, so instead of saying ‘Good God!’ they began to say, ‘Good grief!’ instead. Well, I’m not so sure about that – but then I’m not an expert on American idiom. It seems to me that there may be a much simpler explanation. ‘Good grief’ is an expression that uses contradictory words – a positive word and a negative word. So it may simply have been a way of drawing attention to something that seems to us like a paradox. We have trouble making sense of something so we use two words with contradictory meanings: ‘good’ and ‘grief’ to express our surprise.
In any case, whatever the source of the saying, it raises the question whether there is indeed such a thing as good grief. Some people seem to think so. There is even a counselling service called Good Grief, which seeks to help people find something good in their grief.
There’s a text in the Bible that has a bearing on this question. I’m thinking of the words of Jesus in the opening of His Sermon on the Mount… some verses that we often call The Beatitudes. In The Beatitudes Jesus pronounces a blessing on various categories of people. One of those is people who are grieving. He said, “Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted.” However, it seems just as strange to pronounce a blessing on those who mourn as it is to speak of ‘good grief’. That’s particularly so when we remember that mourning is not limited to the loss we experience when a loved one dies. People mourn for a whole host of reasons – everything from shattered dreams to broken marriages. Grief is widespread and we could think of dozens of situations where the tears flow and where people grit their teeth and hope and pray for better times. So why did Jesus pronounce a blessing on those who mourn?
Well, this saying of Jesus is actually quite profound. Perhaps it’s an indication that grieving can be a healthy process. But I would want to put some limitations to that. I can’t imagine Jesus meaning that all grief is automatically blessed by God. I have met people who had the kind of grief where twenty years later they were still bitter and resentful about what had happened to them. I don’t believe that Jesus meant that there is always some special value in grief.
I think we need to take a different line. Sorrow and grief can be good when it drives us closer to God. Many a grieving person has found the truth of the Bible that the Lord God is the healer of broken hearts. Grief and loss often make us feel our own smallness and powerlessness and in those moments we can be ready to come to Jesus who offers us comfort and peace. On one occasion Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest.” Good grief is an enigma, it’s a puzzling concept, but not when it brings into closer relationship with our Lord and Saviour and when He brings us His comfort.
John Westendorp